I thought i tried my best.

But actually i didnt.

Waiting for the decision is like waiting for a seed to grow into an adult plant.

Subhanaallah.

I cant stand waiting anymore, i can almost breakdown every second thinking bout this.

Please god, i dont want to retain.

I promise that id use this holiday to buck up as much as i can.

)'=

Bestfriends, classmates, ms fina, baby made a great effort to help me out and comfort me all they can but im sorry i just cant stop thinking bout this cos...... though i appreciate every single sweat and hugs youve showered on me.

Feels so disgusting breaking down 2days straight infront of a crowd.

I just dont want to retain and spent another extra year in that sch.

I want to ace my Os and get into my desired course just as planned. Ya allah help me. )'=

Afterwhich i had no guts to go to training i stayed in class gazing out.

As much as i want to calm down, the negative thoughts running through my mind got over me.

I broke down.

But.... those tears dried up and it made me fall asleep in class.

Till i didnt realise 2 classmates was actually there with me.

One word to describe myself today, disgusting.

I want to bang my head hard on the wall and then allow me to pass out.

i feel like giving up.

Hopeless right now.

This sucks )'=

Monday monday monday.......

Please ya allah, feel me and hear my heart say. )'=